I can’t carry this anymore. My joints hurt. I’m weak in the knees and humped in the back. The weight of it all has left me deformed. I am not who I was when this year started and there’s no turning back. I’ll take a moment to validate the pain, anger, and rage. I woke up to find my husband dead on the floor. A heart attack came like a thief in the night and stole the love of my life. I disassociated as a means of survival. Processing the fact that he was actually gone may have destroyed me. My daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. It has been a trying journey that’s only just begun and I have to help her manage it alone. Her dad is gone. And then I got sick. And I stayed sick. And I couldn’t get better. And I had 2 surgeries less than 6 months apart. And my kid bounced from house to house like a foster child. And when I woke up from heart surgery, I had to relearn how to walk. And then, my baby boy (nephew) passed away. Loneliness allowed bitterness to set in. And it did s...